


A Love Song in Their Own Way

by cynicalkairos



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angry Hotch, Car Sex, Don't worry, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Resolved Sexual Tension, Set in season 7, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, TW: cursing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, and, in that order, they aren't drunk driving, tw: alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicalkairos/pseuds/cynicalkairos
Summary: "Don't allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily."— Paulo Coelho
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, if you squint
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	A Love Song in Their Own Way

**Author's Note:**

> howdy!
> 
> this fic has been a month and a half under construction, but i am happy to say that it is complete.
> 
> i hope to write and post some more soon.
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> fic title from the song Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy

“Damn it!”

Hearing this, Rossi looked over from his shoulder to see the unit chief storm off toward the SUVs in frustration. 

His eyes fixated on him in concern, he put a finger up to a rambling Reid. “One second, kid. I’ll be right back.”

Reid frowned and watched him walk off, before focusing back on the crime scene.

When he heard the specific click of Rossi’s leather boots approaching, Hotch faced toward the car so he couldn’t see his face, red with anger and disappointment in himself. “We missed him! We just missed him, Dave.”

The older man stuck his thumbs in his pockets and shrugged nonchalantly. “It happens sometimes.”

Hotch turned around slowly, the red and blue flashing lights lighting up the livid expression on his face. “It’s happened the past three times!”

“And? These cases will turn around. They always do.”

“How can you be so sure? We haven’t had any new leads.”

“Yeah. And we just have to wait for him to mess up.”

“People are dying. That girl died and we had the chance to catch him, but we didn’t. We don’t have time to ‘wait for him to mess up’ anymore.”

Rossi went silent and crossed his arms over his chest, knowing the other man had a point. He couldn’t help but study the man in front of him. Witnessing the sudden outburst from the usually stoic man was a rarity and not without an underlying cause.

Leaning against the vehicle, Rossi could see the tension built up in his posture from endless nights burning the midnight oil trying to solve this case. From the small wince in pain when Hotch turned to look at him to the clenching and unclenching of his fists, he definitely did not doubt that his observation was false.

But the searing, fiery look in Hotch’s eye was something that Rossi could not shake off.

Something was bothering his best friend and he had a suspicion of what it was.

Finally, after carefully choosing his next words, he said, “Aaron—”

“Don’t you ‘Aaron’ me!” He stepped away from the vehicle, advancing toward the older man. “It’s not your problem—”

“What is? Your ability to keep a level head or your ability to lead the team?” He retorted, raising an eyebrow as all his previous thoughts or phrases he wanted to say disappearing from his mind. “Because, at the moment, I’m highly skeptical of both.”

Hotch let out a grim laugh, shaking his head. “You don’t need to worry about me. It’s the dead girl lying twenty feet away from us that’s not fine!”

Rossi took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure, before glancing back at the team to see them watching their conversation unfold. “The team depends on you, Aaron, and, right now, they are worried about you. Emily and Morgan defend you every single time one of the officers dares to test your authority. JJ is always watching over you to make sure you at least eat. Garcia refrains from telling you new information to spare you from more bad news. Spencer has asked me _multiple_ times whether or not you’re okay. All because they _care_.”

“Yeah?” Hotch questioned, placing his hands on his hips and his eyes never leaving the other. “What about you? Do you care?”

Rossi pursed his lips and his body stiffened, standing up straighter to try to match the other man’s height, before saying, “We need to focus on the case. If we close the perimeter fast enough, we can trap the bastard.”

“No,” Hotch pushed, standing his ground and placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Answer the question, Dave. Do you care?”

_Do you care?_

The other man’s question ricocheted in his head, the subtle, yet ever present plea in his voice echoing over and over again. Along with the warm hand on shoulder, contrasting perfectly with the cool, winter air, the simple words and gesture bombarded his mind with thoughts.

Of course, he cared. Why wouldn’t he? Dave had known Aaron for over a decade. Aaron trained under him when he first joined the BAU many years prior. He remembered when he still had that glimmer in his eye—

The look. The small glint in his eye, present back then and present now. That’s what it was.

Sure, on the surface, the spark in his dark pupils merely seemed like anger or frustration, but, upon further investigation, they were diluted— dulled down by the burden of—

“Love,” Dave whispered out loud, the absence of the hand on his shoulder breaking him away from his thoughts. “Is that what this is about? Do you…”

They both fell silent after Rossi trailed off, not able to say the words together.

Something behind his eyes switched on, lighting up the pupils with an emotion he couldn’t identify. Was it love? Was he right? Or was it simply anger and he was projecting his own hopes and desires onto the other man?

Suddenly, those warm, brown eyes steeled and returned to the unit chief’s usual calculating gaze. 

Hotch balled his fists, his calloused fingers methodically clenching and unclenching as he said, “You don’t have the right to say that. Not here, not in front of everyone. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to do my damn job and find the man who did this.”

With those final words, Hotch then brushed against his shoulder, walking back toward the crime scene. 

A tight grip on his forearm stopped Hotch in his tracks. He looked over at the hand, seeing the glint of the signet ring shine in the lights. Following the arm, he met Rossi’s stern expression. 

“I think you should get in the car,” Rossi said, his tone and eyes firm.

Hotch froze. His eyes widened. His pulse quickened. His breath caught in his throat. 

_This wasn’t happening._ Hotch told himself. _Of all the times he could have done this._

Then he shook off the feeling, no matter how much Rossi’s low, gravelly voice sent shivers down his spine.

“Get the hell off me, Dave,” Hotch defied, desperately attempting to subdue the craving to hear the tone again. 

When he moved away from the other man’s hand, the grip suddenly tightened. Rossi’s fiery gaze intensified, the sight alone melting any further attempts at an argument. 

“You wanna talk? Fine, Aaron, let’s talk. If not here, then I suggest we go for a little drive,” Rossi muttered slowly, his eyes never leaving Hotch’s. 

Hotch let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding and nodded quickly. He stormed off to the car, upset that the other man had such an effect on him.

From the driver’s seat, Hotch watched Rossi notify the rest of the team of Hotch’s state and his plan to avoid disaster. 

His heart couldn’t help but beat faster and harder, the consistent thump pounding in his ears. 

Was wanting your best friend for a long time even while you were married a bad thing? Yes. 

Was the attraction one of the many reasons your marriage eventually crumbled? Possibly. 

Could you have stopped, no matter how much you wanted to? No.

It was impossible to pinpoint when it started, but Aaron had always been drawn to the man. 

The way, from a simple handshake, Dave could charm anyone. 

The way his passion drove his impulse actions that inevitably saved many lives, despite how many risks he had to take.

The way, no matter how serious the situation was, Dave still joked and tried to make people smile. 

There was a moment, not too long ago, when something _did_ happen.

When, after all those years of yearning and unresolved tension, the alcohol and the post-case adrenaline overpowered them.

Although he didn’t remember what exactly happened, he did remember waking up naked in Dave’s bed with the man himself sleeping right next to him.

In true Hotch and Rossi fashion, they never spoke of it again. It was a moment— a small sliver of time that remains hidden until the depths of the nights or the escapes of their dreams.

The feelings Aaron held deep inside ate away at him, breaking down his marriage and what he knew about himself over the months. Aaron couldn’t just say “Dave, I love you” in passing. The fear that their friendship that he valued over everything prevented him.

And there was no way in hell that Dave felt the same.

“So, are you gonna drive or do you need me to take the wheel?”

Before he realized it, the man that invaded his thoughts was sitting next to him and looking at him expectantly. 

“I am perfectly capable of driving. Thank you very much,” Hotch said defensively, glancing over at him and seeing the other man's raised eyebrow, before he rolled his eyes. “I’m not a child.”

He internally hoped that the darkness of the night clouded the blush that covered his cheeks. But something in that stupid knowing look Dave had revealed that he knew more than he showed.

“Right. Of course,” Rossi mused sarcastically as he looked out the window, the sing-song lilt in his voice. “A _child_ would know better than to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a crime scene.”

“That wasn’t a temper tantrum.”

“You cursed, argued with me, and then stomped off. I’m not a father, Aaron, but that sounds like a temper tantrum to me.”

Hotch shifted his gaze to the road in front of them and began to drive silently, knowing a response would only dig him a deeper hole. 

Needless to say, the tension between them had been brewing for weeks. Petty arguments and snide remarks invaded their usually friendly and teasing conversations. 

They still had their morning coffee together in his office. However, their conversations about how Jack was doing in school or the latest Cubs game shifted into arguments about the small things like the perfect speed of an elevator or the superiority of pirates to ninjas.

He couldn’t stand how Dave was always right. No matter what topic he brought up, the older man somehow had an argument that was irrefutable. 

Despite his complete annoyance with losing every time, Aaron loved to argue with him. Dave took his time to craft his arguments and choose every word carefully. His fingers drummed a melody into his thigh whenever he was deep in thought. His lips formed a victorious smirk at the end of the conversation, Aaron (of course) letting him win every time just to see it.

However, something about this case elevated their tense situation. He didn’t know if it was the UnSub evading their every move or if it was Dave managing to keep a calm and collected composure no matter how much the case twisted or turned that really set him off.

When he returned to reality, Hotch’s fingers were wrapped around the wheel tightly. His eyes flitted to the man sitting relaxedly next to him. 

One elbow propped on the window sill and the other hand laid on his knee, Dave’s eyes watched the dark silhouettes pass by them. He could see him thinking, the gears evidently churning in his head. The warm lights from passing cars highlighted the sharp cheekbones and angled nose. 

Even from varied glances, Aaron could see the faint outline of his undershirt peeking out from the opened collar. His imagination drifted to that one night they shared— the one that changed their relationship forever without them ever talking about it again.

He instantly snapped back to reality when Dave noticed the heavy gaze on him and glanced at him quizzically.

Without hesitation, Aaron pulled over into the abandoned parking lot and parked the car in one of the spots. 

Dave frowned and turned to him completely, hearing the soft click of the other man’s seat belt. “What the hell are you—“

He was cut off when Aaron’s lips were suddenly on his own, devouring every square inch available to him hungrily. 

When Dave didn’t move, Aaron pulled back, his hand still cupping the other man’s jaw. 

When Aaron finally opened his eyes, Dave stared back at him with an indiscernible expression on his face.

Seconds felt like hours. Neither one of them moved, Aaron’s hand still gently resting on Dave’s cheek. He could feel his hot breath brush against his lips. 

Just as Aaron was about to give up and sit back in his seat to drive off, he felt a tug on his tie. He looked down to see Dave’s hand gripping the fabric tightly. Meeting his eyes again, he could barely process the meaning of such a gesture, before Dave pulled on his tie and crashed their lips together.

With a swift removal of his seat belt, Dave pushed Aaron back against the seat, the hard gear shift pressing into his hip as he leaned across the console. His hand travelled down his chest. Aaron’s muscles were certainly as toned as he remembered from that night, perhaps even more so. He was no stranger to admiring them when Aaron took off his jacket or tackled an UnSub. 

And he could definitely get used to feeling them in his hand. He felt him smile against his lips, before breaking the kiss to look down.

“Is that your gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”

Aaron breathed out a laugh. “Both.”

“Well, I know this one is the gun,” Dave started, removing the gun from the holster and placing it in the glovebox, along with the one strapped to his ankle. “What about this one?”

His hand then drifted down and settled on his thigh with his thumb dangerously close to Aaron’s hardening erection. The rough grasp coaxed his legs open, bucking his hips into the touch in hopes that more follow. 

Aaron then released a loud moan and he tilted his head back against the headrest in pleasure, begging, “Fuck, Dave. Please, I need more.” 

In response, Dave connected his lips to Aaron’s exposed neck, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses on the flushed skin. His fingers fumbling with desperation and need, Aaron loosened his tie and undid the top buttons. The brief release elicited a sigh from the man, quickly turning into a moan when Dave bit down on the spot where his neck met his collarbone. Aaron’s back arched to lean into the touch and his hands flew to Dave’s hair, the once expertly style quiff reduced to a mess of spiked tufts of hair. 

When Dave pulled away to sit back down and breathe, Aaron whined, the absence of heat lingering painfully. 

Dave smirked with a smug glint in his eye and chuckled when the scary, tough unit chief was now reduced to sputtering pleas and moans for him to simply touch him. 

The suit jacket was long gone, left behind in the hotel room. 

His bulletproof vest laid in the backseat, crumpled with the anger that he held earlier.

The tension in his shoulders was gone, relaxedly rising up and down with every inhale and exhale. Eyes closed, his head rested on the seat, the dim lighting revealing his flushed cheeks, red with arousal, physical exertion, and the lack of oxygen. The sweat brimming his forehead really captured the essence. 

And, to Dave, this calm, relaxed state, oblivious to the horrors of the world outside of the car, made Aaron seem almost angelic, despite the rather… unholy influences when his eyes glanced down.

Even in the dark, the dim overhead light accented the tent growing in his suit pants. Dave couldn’t rip his eyes away, licking his lips in arousal. 

He looked back up to see Aaron’s dark eyes on him, penetrating into his own. 

They stared at each other, unsure how to proceed.

If they went through with this, nothing would ever be the same. Their friendship that withstood over a decade would be in jeopardy— 

“You know I never regretted that night, Dave,” the younger man confessed quietly, pulling the older man from his thoughts. 

Dave frowned. “You don’t?“

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it for months.” 

“Are you serious?”

“I couldn’t leave my office the next day because I couldn’t walk straight, Dave, and the team is scarily too smart for their own good.” Aaron merely laughed softly and shook his head as he looked out at the darkness obscuring them from the rest of the world and reminisced back on the memory. 

When Aaron’s response was met with a small chuckle, he glanced over to see Dave shaking his head. He frowned when he said, “What’s so funny?”

“I thought you were avoiding me because you thought it was a one-time thing or a drunken mistake.”

The younger man placed his hand on Dave’s thigh, capturing his attention, then confessing, “Everything I said that night was true. I loved you. I _love_ you so much that it scared me. I just figured it was better to let my feelings eat me alive than actually tell you.”

Hearing those words, Dave’s eyes lit up with fondness and well— love, a feeling he hadn’t experienced since that night. The way Aaron was inches away. The way the heat radiated off his body. The way his eyes were soft and gentle, yet passionate with his love for him. 

The strange thing was that he believed _everything_ he said.

“I never thought that I would say this to anyone else ever again, but I love you too, Aaron. You are one of the best men I have ever known and ever will know.” Dave reached out and cupped Aaron’s jaw gently, admiring the already blooming bruises on his neck, before commenting, “You know the team is gonna find out when we get back to the hotel, right?”

A brief flash of panic appeared on his face and quickly disappeared with a shake of his head. “That doesn’t matter now.”

“Good,” he replied, before leaning in and kissing him lovingly.

Now, they poured all of their passion and love for each other into the kiss. The previous teeth clashing and lip biting were replaced with slow, synchronous movements. There was no need to hurry. They had all of the time in the world to make up for lost time.

With a sweep of his tongue across his lips, Dave deepened the kiss, moaning into the other’s mouth when Aaron’s hand slid up his thigh with dextrous precision.

Breaking the kiss with a gentle shove, Aaron pushed Dave back against the seat and untied his tie and tossed it into the back seat as Dave leaned his seat back.

When the seat was laid back the entire way, Aaron climbed over the console and straddled his hips, making sure to brush against his erection and smiling when he elicited a moan from the other man.

“So, I was right earlier?” Dave asked, his smirk growing as he watched Aaron remove his excessive layers of clothing.

Aaron frowned in concentration as he only managed to glance up from his hard work of unbuttoning Dave’s shirt now. “Right about what?”

“That you were frustrated that you couldn’t express your love for me, so you took it out on the case.”

The younger man stopped and slowly met Dave’s smug expression that exclaimed that he already knew the answer. “You are an intolerable and incorrigible bastard, Dave. You know that, right?”

“Oh, yes,” Dave agreed, placing his hands on his hips and gently squeezing his thighs. He pressed a gentle kiss on Aaron’s sharp jawline. “But you love it.”

“Unwillingly,” Aaron said sarcastically, then emitting a soft gasp when Dave bit down on the tender skin in retaliation. “Ah— fuck, Dave. Yes, yes, I do.”

As Dave noted that particular spot for later, Aaron’s hands met the cool metal of his belt buckle and he looked up at the other man. “Are you sure?”

Dave pulled him in a gentle, quick kiss, muttering against his lips, “As sure as I’ll ever be.”

———

“Yeah, Aaron, I don’t think there’s any way to cover that hickey.”

Dave could barely hide the amusement on his face.

They had been sitting in the parking lot in front of the hotel the team was staying at for the past ten minutes as Hotch fussed over his appearance, trying to hide the fact he just had sex in a car not an hour before.

Rossi gave up a few seconds in, realizing that there was no way his hair was reshaping from the messy, spiky hair Hotch gave him and his clothes were going to unwrinkle without a flat iron.

“Great,” Hotch said with a sigh. He closed the small mirror above the driver’s seat and pushed up the shade with a solid thud. “You know you could have eased up 

“What can I say? You certainly didn’t complain before,” Rossi refuted, a satisfied smirk on his face when he saw Hotch freeze and attempt to hide the blush spreading across his face. “In fact, I would say that you liked it.”

The man in question simply cleared his throat and slowly nodded. “True, but I would make two corrections, Dave.”

“Yes, Aaron?”

Hotch grabbed his briefcase and opened the car door. Stepping out of the vehicle, he paused. “I would say that I loved it and would definitely not mind you doing that again later.”

With a wink, he dramatically slammed the door shut and left Rossi sitting alone in the SUV.

“That son of a bitch.” His jaw dropped, Rossi scrambled to grab his briefcase as well, before following him to the hotel.

Walking into the hotel, the hushed, quick conversation between Hotch and Rossi silenced when they saw the team all sitting together in the lounge. 

Hotch darted to the elevators, but certainly not without the team noticing his arsenal of dark bruises decorating his neck and jaw and his overall disheveled state.

Rossi attempted to follow him when he heard Morgan clear his throat to get his attention. 

Morgan smiled widely, saying as Rossi approached them, “Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up.”

Rossi shrugged, holding his briefcase in front of him. “What can I say? Traffic was bad.”

Prentiss hummed and sipped her drink. She shot a look at JJ, who nearly burst out laughing. “Yeah, sure. Blame it on the traffic.”

“Come on, Em.” JJ snickered and tried to hold back her laughter when she said, “You know traffic’s bad when you have to stop to get some hickeys on the way.”

Morgan nearly spilled his drink he laughed so hard and he reached over to give her a light fist bump. “Nice.”

“Did you tell him?” Reid asked sincerely, cradling his glass of water in his hands.

Rossi glanced to the unit chief impatiently pressing the up button on the elevator and smiled gently, before meeting the team’s expectant expressions on their faces. “Yeah, I did, kid.”

“I think they did more than just ‘telling,’ Spence,” Prentiss retorted, patting the genius on the shoulder to ease his confusion.

Hearing the soft chime of the elevator, the senior agent looked over to see the arrow light up. “Now, as much as I love talking to you all, if you will excuse me, it's been a long day.”

“Yeah, that day’s only gonna get longer,” JJ said dryly, causing everyone but Reid to laugh.

Reid looked between all of them and called out to Rossi as he walked toward the elevators. “Tell Hotch I’m glad he’s feeling better.”

For some reason unbeknownst to Reid, the team howled in laughter at his concern.

In response, Rossi smiled to himself and gave a quick thumbs up to Reid. Glancing back at the elevators, he saw Hotch holding it open for him, so he quickened his pace and slipped inside. He waited for the doors to shut before he looked at him, noting his flushed face and adrenaline-induced behavior.

Aaron looked up at the elevator to see the numbers shift slowly as the machine moved up floor by floor.

To break the silence, he muttered, “Why is this elevator moving so goddamn slow?”

Dave chuckled and followed the other’s eyes to the electronic, red numbers above the door. Then his eyes moved back to the man standing stiffly in his black suit, replying lowly, “Why? Are you looking forward to something?”

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh and, upon meeting the other’s warm gaze, blushed darker. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you know _perfectly_ what I’m talking about.”

The unit chief’s smile widened at the other man, before the doors opened and their small moment of bliss and content disappeared.

“So,” Hotch started firmly, trying to maintain formality. “Do you think they know?”

Rossi huffed out a laugh and ran his eyes over Hotch. “They wouldn’t need to be profilers to notice, Aaron.”

All previous thoughts got caught in his throat as they continued walking down the hall, subconsciously smoothing his hair while choking out, “Is it that obvious?”

“We disappeared for hours and returned with hickeys and messy hair. You’re also smiling unabashedly and walking with a limp,” Rossi said slyly, before smirking over at Hotch. “To me, we look like the epitome of ‘We-just-hooked-up-in-the-back-of-a-SUV.’”

The blush and the overall embarrassment prevented Hotch from seeing Rossi stop at his door. He kept walking until he saw Rossi standing there.

“Well,” Hotch started, awkwardly standing in the middle of the hallway. “I guess this is goodnight.”

“Aren’t you coming in?” Rossi asked with a small frown on his face, gesturing to his room with his head. 

“No, I shouldn’t. I have to look over the case file.”

A small smile appeared on the older man’s lips, knowing that was exactly what he was going to say. He tapped the door handle with his finger as he reasoned, “Well, the ME isn’t going to send in the report until the morning and everyone else already looked over the crime scene, so…”

Aaron stepped closer to him, practically standing in the doorway at this point. “Agent Rossi, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”

“As much as I love _The Graduate_ , no, I am not trying to seduce you. If that’s what you want, then so be it,” Dave said as he swiped the keycard to his hotel room and opened the door. “However, I do have two glasses, a bottle of scotch, and crappy cable, if that’s what you want instead.”

The younger man examined the man in front of him as he turned on the lights. 

After Haley, Aaron never knew if he would find love again. He hoped he would find a different love, one that didn’t confine him and make him pretend to be someone he was not. 

Looking deeply into Dave’s eyes, he could see that he found that different type of love. David Rossi accepted him for the exhausted and dedicated workaholic that he was and loved him for it. 

When Dave looked back at him after opening the door, he saw the intent expression on his face and met his warm 

After his turbulent series of flings and marriages, Dave nearly gave up on the idea of marriage and even maybe love. It was something that hurt him time and time again, especially since he knew that every one of the relationships fell apart because of him. He always said that he was “married to the job” and his string of failed marriages showed that. 

Now, looking deeply into Aaron’s eyes, he found someone that was equally dedicated to the job and understood the pressures and the burdens this job came with. Aaron loved him, even though he knew his past.

“Are you coming?” Dave finally asked tentatively, drumming his fingers against the metal door handle. “You don’t have to—”

Aaron stepped into the door and set his briefcase down against the wall. “Lead the way.” 

Dave smiled widely and walked further into the room, letting the door close behind them.


End file.
